Studies on wine

Like clockwork, there’s some study praising the benefits of drinking one glass of wine with dinner. Fantastic words like “prevention”, “antioxidants” and “orgasmic” often litter the report. Well, if the latter appeared, I’d try to drink the sour bitter stuff.

I accept that wine can promote snobbery as is customary who once read an article in a free newspaper or a pamphlet from an LCBO. The wine industry got smart and threw money at science demanding them to come up with some positives to overshadow these pseudo-pompus assholes. And it works

Secretly, I’m waiting for a grape war to break out and the big winners will be the science people who dig up these facts, then play them off one another. Like, the cabernet sauvignon unearthed some fucked up shit on those merlot wanks. Merlot promotes infertility.

Then Big Merlot fires back that cab sav is the wine of choice of murderers.

Further division shakes the vineyard peace as fault lines form region to region : Australian cab sav doesn’t harm the environment like the Chilean version.

Then the white wine makers finally get a spine and throw in something like red wine is 18x more likely to promote brest cancer.

Man, if that happens, I have a list of 28 people that I will need to call and laugh at, accusing them of whatever their favourite wine is.